Becoming The Person You Would Most Admire

We all begin with an ideal of how we want to be but it is often fleeting.  Our aspiration is often overtaken by other more immediate distractions. During our free moments we think we can aspire to be caring, compassionate and hard working. However, fatigue, frustration, and anger can make it difficult.

Many people reach out to me, a hypnotist, to help them change a habit or build more confidence. Beyond that change they want to become a better person, one they can look to with admiration. In that sense we all wish to be guided by “the better angels of our nature“.

How can we work toward such a lofty aspiration? Here are my thoughts.


path to an ideal selfThere is no finish line to becoming the person you most admire. It’s a journey, not a destination. Like any journey there will be moments of progress and moments of frustration. Persistence means simply not giving up. Accept the momentary dissatisfaction because the are inevitable in any journey. What truly matters is that you don’t give up. Fortunately, this type of journey one is able to take at any point in their life. Regardless of youth or age, health or infirmity on can always aspire to be better.

Because frustrations are inevitable don’t treat them as failures or laps in your character. The best perspective to view frustrations is as lessons and feedback. Examine these disappointing events objectively without emotion and take from it what useful information is there. If something doesn’t work, do something differently. Therefore, you will find more value in these experiences than you might imagine.

Live by Values First and Rules Second

Values refer to the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide a person’s behavior. They are the firm convictions about what is considered right or wrong, good or bad. Values influence an individual’s decision-making and actions, serving as a moral compass. Here are some examples of often sited values:

Honesty: The willingness to tell the truth and act sincerely.
Respect: Esteem for other people, their opinions, and their property.
Responsibility: The commitment to take responsibility for one’s actions.
Justice: The pursuit of fairness and equal treatment.
Compassion: Empathy and caring for the well-being of others.
Integrity: Adherence to moral and ethical principles, even when it is challenging.
Tolerance: Acceptance of diversity and different opinions.
Freedom: The right of every individual to freedom and self-determination.

The list of values goes on. Take meaningful time to consider the values you wish to live by. These will be the values that you would admire in others. From your own personal set of values you can infer your personal rules of behavior.

Start with small changes

small daily actions


A friend I deeply respected and admired told me “how you do anything is how you do everything”. This he demonstrated in the smallest of actions. He would clear his table when he left his meal. He would diligently show up on time to appointments. If he committed to a task he worked sincerely to complete it as promised. All of these things seem small in themselves but they came together to build a person that by every standard “had his s**t together”.

When I asked him he explained that he is naturally disorganized and lazy. It took him many years of disappointment to realize he could change. It took him several more years to better implement the changes he needed. “Start where you are at” he would say “when you wake up, make your bed. How you do anything is how you do everything.”

Reflect Daily on Your Goal

Daily Reflection Becoming the person you would admire is a consistent effort that requires a consistent focus. For this reason having a daily practice of planning and reflection is vital. Whether it is daily writing in a journal  or sitting quietly to intently plan and reflect, it is best done EVERY DAY. The day will give you endless distractions if you allow it. Therefore scheduling time to plan and reflect will build a habit that will battle any tendency toward distraction.


The path to becoming the person one admires is an ongoing journey marked by both progress and occasional frustration. Patience is crucial, as there’s no definitive endpoint, and viewing setbacks as lessons rather than failures is essential. Living by fundamental values like honesty, respect, and responsibility provides a moral compass for decision-making. Initiate change through small, consistent actions, understanding that how you handle small tasks reflects your overall character. Establish a daily practice of reflection to maintain focus amid distractions, reinforcing commitment to personal growth. It’s a continual effort, but each day presents an opportunity for positive change.

One small step to accomplishing this epic endeavor can be done with the use of hypnosis. Consider the personal changes that would make your life better. I would love to help you.

~David Barron
New Hampshire Hypnosis

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